If you have read any of my other blog posts then you have probably figured it out. Yes! I love reflection, introspection and meditation. These are not things I do all the time, however there are specific points in the year when I am intentional about utilizing my time to reflect, introspect or meditate. The close of a year is usually spent recapping the events of the year and prayerfully mapping out my expectation of the things to come. With the year 2016 coming to a close, I am reflecting on the great things that have happened this year as well as the “not so great” things- you know those pesky troubles, trials and tribulations.
The moment of testing this year for me was when I had to take the journey through the desert- that nice barren area of land where there is barely any water, and minimal plant and animal life- yes that place. It amazes me how quickly life can shift- today will be great but we never know what tomorrow will bring. That’s why it is said that all we have is today and also why the word of God instructs us to not worry about tomorrow (Matt. 6:34). This is how it felt to me. I was great one day, enjoying the journey on the road of life with God then I woke up the next asking myself where did the joy, peace and patience suddenly run off to? Where was the energy and fire? It felt like someone just blew out my candle. At this point in time I had to really stand on the solid foundation that my hope was built on- Jesus Christ. Somethings that were easy for me became difficult. Where praying had been automatic, it became difficult- the things I would usually do to build my relationship with God weren’t so easy anymore. I had to put my foot down and become intentional in ensuring that these areas were maintained, though I will admit I did drop the ball on a few occasions.
What this experience did for me though was put my faith, trust and faithfulness to the test. In the desert was where I had to use every scripture I knew to remind myself that I would be okay. I had to consistently speak life. In my few years on earth I had made the journey through the desert before, so it wasn’t a new experience. The struggle was greater though, because this time I didn’t want to give in and be overwhelmed by the desert. I desired to make it through with joy, humility and patience etc. I wanted to learn from the experience. I wanted to build my Spiritual muscles.
The desert is made up of hard compact exposed ground, with nothing to cushion the walk. It’s hot and dusty- which means you are sweaty, dirty and on your way to dehydration. There is nothing in the barren place to cover you from the attack of the elements. There is no natural shelter or place where you can hide at night from the things that go bump in the night, it is one bare exposed strip of land that can go on for miles. As a result of sweating and dehydration, your body becomes weak- no strength and whatever progress you try to make speedily will result in you only getting weaker. In the desert the race is really not for the swift but for those who can endure. As a result of dehydration you will likely experience hallucinations-seeing the mirage. These moments of temptation shouldn’t come as a surprise, because it is when you are at your weakest that the enemy will most definitely seek to strike. In these moments we learn our weaknesses and the things we need to fortify our minds against. The mirage we see is the craving of the flesh. Whatever our flesh desires most is our biggest weakness- food, sex, drugs, gossip, anger etc. What we often forget during these times of weakness is the person who walks beside us. We forget to rejoice in these moments when we struggle with our flesh. Some may ask why would I rejoice? Temptation isn’t fun- that is true but we should glory in these moments, because this is when God’s strength is made perfect (2 Cor. 12:9). In our weakest moments we should truly rely on God.
With everything that was happening I recognized that the desert was a part of the country called Ashley’s Life. This desert was a part of my life that had been deliberately left behind or was an area of myself I had yet to traverse and explore. As a result, Jesus being all knowing had to make the journey with me to this place in order to show me an area in my life that was not blooming. The barren areas, are exposed in the various situations/ circumstances that life brings. Envision this as a plot of land on which a lovely house sits, with an immaculate front lawn, landscaped to perfection, with a garden that is blooming nicely. Now imagine after seeing the front lawn you enter the back yard and all you see is dirt. A barren back yard with no fixtures, no beauty- just dirt.
In Matthew 14: 13-21, Jesus went off into a desert place, and once the people learnt of His location they followed Him. If we are serious about following Jesus then this is the kind of attitude we have to embody- where He goes I go. Jesus saw the crowd of people, and moved with compassion He took the time to heal the sick among them. When evening came the disciples spoke to Him and said “this is a dry (barren, empty, lacking, fruitless, no sustenance) place, send the people away so that they can go by food”. It must have surprised the disciples when Jesus was telling them the people didn’t have to go, and they (the disciples) should give them food. The disciples were probably looking around thinking what food? Where are we supposed to get it? I mean does Jesus not see that there are five thousand men here not counting women and children? They probably were looking at Jesus as though He was all types of crazy, when they told him the only food present were the five loaves and two fishes.
It never ceases to amaze me when I consider- Jesus knew what was there. He was encouraging the disciples. Challenging them to use their faith and feed the people. I am sure that if the disciples had taken that and said “by faith we will use the five loaves and two fishes to feed the people” it would have multiplied. The master of the universe was standing there waiting to honor that faith. He gave them the go ahead to do it, He said “you give them food”, but all the disciples saw was the size of the crowd and the little food they had. In their mind’s eye they did not see the food by faith being multiplied. Jesus had to go on and now demonstrate what He required of them, He had to be the example. So He said “bring me the fish and bread”. When we read this we know a miracle is about to go down, Jesus is about to do the impossible. Jesus commands the people to sit on the grass as He shares the food. Wait a second, pause- grass? Aren’t we in a desert place though?
Exactly! On our walk with Christ, He will lead us specifically to these unfruitful, dry places in our lives, to till the soil, plant seeds and command grass to grow. Sometimes we don’t like to talk about the desert and the temptation we experienced in the desert because we are ashamed. Ashamed that we are still holding on to the hatred we have had for over 5 years, ashamed that we can’t seem to still our lying tongues, and ashamed of the anger we are carrying in our hearts etc. We don’t want to explore these places in our lives, we prefer to continue maintaining the beauty of the front lawn while neglecting the back yard. I encourage you to call the landscaper named Jesus, who will cause grass to grow and flowers to blossom in the desert areas of your life. After the overhaul of the desert you will be able to sit and enjoy the fish and bread He will feed you in that once barren but now fruitful place. Don’t ignore the desert (dry) areas of your life-the parts that may seem unfruitful. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to explore them with Jesus. You may be barren in the relationship department, barren in your self-esteem and confidence, barren in your discipline, barren in the financial department, barren in the job department, and emotionally barren- hate men/ women because of past experiences. When God takes us to these deserts in our lives, it’s not to show us up or have us endure the reminder to only leave it behind again. It is to bring our attention to these areas. He will perform healing and miracles in the dry land, cause grass to grow and then build an altar there for His glory (check out The Altar I Built To My Mistakes – the reference will make sense).
I honestly thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my posts- I look forward to sharing with and hearing from you in the new year ♥♥♥
-Ashley #followerofJesusChrist
Matthew 14:13-21
13 When Jesus heard of it, he departed thence by ship into a desert place apart: and when the people had heard thereof, they followed him on foot out of the cities.
14 And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick.
15 And when it was evening, his disciples came to him, saying, This is a desert place, and the time is now past; send the multitude away, that they may go into the villages, and buy themselves victuals.
16 But Jesus said unto them, They need not depart; give ye them to eat.
17 And they say unto him, We have here but five loaves, and two fishes.
18 He said, Bring them hither to me.
19 And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass, and took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and gave the loaves to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.
20 And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full.
21 And they that had eaten were about five thousand men, beside women and children.
