Guess what ya’ll ?! Valentine’s Day has come and gone, and to my people struggling with “the singles” (Check out Joseph Solomon’s piece on YouTube) you made it through the weekend….lool. If you are someone who struggles in their singleness, and even more so on V-day- say it with me: “I made it!”.
I have been sitting on this post for quite sometime now, and since I have decided this is the year I say yes to sharing more of my thoughts- I decided to share this with you. The weekend has come and gone, and I got to see some of my favorite people drop their love all over my social media feeds. I really do appreciate good, healthy and godly representations of love. Now, one thing that was sprinkled all over social media this weekend is- #relationshipgoals. As I am editing this post, there are 14.5M posts currently boasting this hashtag. This tells us that there are lots of people who believe they have the kind of love that should be emulated, and others who believe they see a couple who they desire to emulate.
#RelationshipGoals
Trust me, I have seen the reposts of couples in sneakers, at home, on vacation, laughing, dining, kissing +++ all tagged #RelationshipGoals. I am a firm believer in goal setting, and having an outline for the future. However, I personally believe too many times we can get so focused on the future, we forget about the here and now. Meaning we day dream more than we actively work to make the dream a reality. We buy into the “lotto fantasy”– settling and complaining about our current lives, dreaming that one day it will just magically turn around, while doing just enough to make us feel better we aren’t actually willing to change our situation (this is how I see it at times). The fact is, we can’t always want the easy way out, and in this society with the age of highlight reels, people will do crazy things to get the dopamine high of likes.
I believe we live in a society that requires a strong will- cause if you don’t have one, you might find yourself in a romantic relationship, simply trying to avoid the “awkwardness” and “pressures” of being single. Yes, I’m talking about those friends asking if you aren’t lonely, the mothers asking when you are going to settle down, and a society of people who sometimes don’t see value in being single. For some of my christian singles out there you know what I mean- if you attend anything singles related (especially the women, because men are rarely seen in these places…lool), it is rare that you hear anything not focused on keeping yourself, loneliness, and finding the one. Some people reading this are probably thinking “you are reaching with this thought process”, but I ask that you look at many of the celebrities we focus on. So many of them are in and out of relationships so frequently- today you hear that the relationship between 1+2 has ended and tomorrow 1 is photographed kissing 3, and a new relationship has been formed at the drop of a hat.
There are people who will spin you the tale that if you aren’t in a relationship then your life is going no where- that is NOT true.
There are some who have a list of things they want to do after marriage, but no list of things to accomplish while single- you will always hear them say “after I get married I want to travel the world with bae”. Don’t get me wrong I want to travel the world with bae too but what if you never get married (hard thought to swallow for some- I know)? Will your life be on permanent pause? To the Christian: Are you seeking to live for Christ or for marriage? All aspects of our lives are to glorify God- seek to live out your purpose in every state you are in. Purpose is continuous, it is not a one stop destination but a lifetime of walking.
Even in our assemblies we find that there is the whole “Relationship Goals” concept, and again I say there is nothing wrong with that. However you will hear a young lady or a young man speak with great enthusiasm about the missions trips they are going to take with their spouse, or how they are going to work in the community, and these look great on paper. But besides the dream these young men and women aren’t putting into action any of these dreams, they aren’t taking the time while single to go to serve in a shelter or find other ways they can serve the community, but at home on Instagram sharing #relationshipgoals. I just want to make us aware that if we aren’t attempting to let Christ shine now, He isn’t going shine when you get the “one”.
Posting about relationship goals of the big dream house that you and wifey will own, but not taking the necessary steps to learn money management, seeing no value in paying a bill on time and constantly over drafting that credit card, is an indicator that you may be living in dream land. It’s really a fairy tale/ dream till you begin to execute steps in the present to achieve #futuregoals.
There are no #goals achieved in the future without putting in present work.
Let me say it this way, you cannot anticipate the growth of an apple tree in your backyard that you never planted. Don’t imagine you will be who you never invest the time to be. As a friend of mine said : L. E. A. P- Launch, Execute, Advance and Progress.
All of what I said was to get here: START NOW! Take action! Set the stage for where you desire to stand in the future. Have the #RelationshipGoals but don’t wait to live in a relationship.
Thank you for reading! Drop a comment- let me in on what you are thinking, Like and Share- if you enjoyed the read.
With Love,
Ashley ♥♥ #followerofChrist
