They say that trust once broken is hard to repair. And repairing trust is like putting a broken mirror back together, the evidence of being broken will definitely be seen.
Over the past year or so of being a part of the Sister’s in Praise Team, I have been reminded that we should view ourselves as stores. Ensuring that the things people receive from us are wholesome and full of substance. Our shelves should not be stock piled with junk. It is always a good reminder to be mindful of what we are serving others.
In my recent reflection on the topic of trust, I started to view this as the security as well as an item that can be found at the entrance to and on the shelves of our stores (ourselves). Everyone has their particular preference in trading their trust. Some have their trust all stock piled and freely accessible, while others will have their trust in the back room and you may require the secret password to get it- That is all fine and dandy. This post is not to criticize anyone on how they trade their trust or which way is the right way. This post is not even to talk about who you should trust.
This post is directed to all of us who are consumers. Many of us may not realize it but there are specific things we may shop for in others. It’s like shopping: there are some places you prefer to buy meat, some places you go for fresh produce, some places you go to purchase clothes and some stores because of their large quantity of goods you purchase almost everything there. It’s the same thing with people, there are some people you may be absolutely serious around and you never joke with, while there are others that you feel you
can never have a deep conversation with, and then there is the group of people who you laugh with one minute then the conversation is intellectual the next, with unnoticeable transitions. There should be a certain level of reciprocity in relationships (we hope), or else while one party leaves full the other leaves feeling drained.
When we go to any store there is an initial measure of trust given for you to enter and browse. If you go there often enough the people in the store start to become familiar with you and because of familiarity the measure of trust will increase. In some stores you can even open a tab, credit an item or ask them to hold the item longer than they usually would simply because the measure of trust you have been given has increased. Why? Because we have traded their trust for loyalty and honesty.
As consumers of trust- I say consumers because we utilize a person’s trust to foster our day to day interactions- we have to be mindful of what we trade. I understand that we are all imperfect people who make mistakes, and sometimes we disappoint, however I am talking about our trend and pattern in dealing with others. When we enter the lives of those around and we have received their trust, do we in turn offer for it confidentiality, respect, trust, patience, kindness, truth, love, encouragement, confidence, goodness, faithfulness, wisdom, or understanding? (Just a few things we offer to enhance the lives (store) of the people around us)
Or are we people that abuse the trust given to us? Do we take the initial trust and then shop lift? Do we vandalize a person’s life? Do we con people into trusting us only to get access to the special vault with all the most expensive jewels in the back? Then proceed to rob them clean of all that is most precious, causing them to shut down and not be able to function for a while? Do we enter the lives of others to take what they have to give, and then trade malice or jealousy in return? Do we seek to trade for trust hate or envy?
I will be the first to admit that writing this was somewhat uncomfortable because it kept shining light on areas in my life where I could have done better in regards to trading for the trust of others. I find sometimes that we become so focused of how others treat us and betray our trust and neglect to see how we treat them. This is unfortunate but it does happen.
My encouragement to all of us who are trading for the trust of others, is a reminder that once you have acquired the trust of the people you interact with, trade it for something of quality that will cause their lives to thrive (1 Thess 5:11, Heb 3:13). Trade for trust: love, gentleness, goodness etc. The Bible speaks to the importance of having and giving love (1 Cor. 13) and allowing the fruit of the Spirit mentioned in Gal. 5:22-23 to be made manifest in our lives. It is important for those of us who are Christians to ensure that when we enter the lives of those around us or people enter our lives that we have things of substance to pour into their lives. Do not seek to trade: hatred, jealousy, strife, envy, malice and other things that will cause death and decay (Gal 5: 19-21). If you find yourself in this position, do not fear, there is always a chance to renovate and restock the shelves of your life.
My encouragement to those who have felt robbed of their trust, is not to shut down or build up walls that cause what is in you to become inaccessible. Don’t close your doors and give up on those who may enter your lives. You have something to offer (Matt. 5:16)! You may feel robbed, but you have something to offer! You may feel that your most precious jewels were taken but you have something to offer! Do not allow those who have caused hurt, to cause death and decay to take over your lives. Do not start stocking your shelves with anger, hatred, distrust, negativity, and other items that will now cause you to become a trader of items that cause death and decay in the lives of others. Be willing to offer forgiveness as Christ forgave you (Eph. 2:32). I know sometimes it is hard to offer forgiveness but let the word of God be hid in your heart to get you to that place of forgiveness.
Don’t be afraid to take your time and restock your shelves. Though you have something to offer you don’t want to be causing hurt in the process. Think about it this way: you have a store that has been broken into, and has also been vandalized, there is broken glass everywhere, products are all over the floor, and everything is disorganized. As the store owner you wouldn’t want someone to come into that mess to purchase something from you. There is the risk of getting cut by glass or other damage happening. I am not saying that every situation will be this dire, just ensure that where there is damage that the time is taken to properly repair these areas. Ensure that you go to the correct source to get your trust repaired. When you try to do it on your own, the evidence of broken trust will be seen, however when God does the repairs the damage will only be a memory, there will be no scars (Prov. 3: 5-6).
COLOSSIANS 3: 13-16 (AMP)
Bearing graciously with one another, and willingly forgiving each other if one has a cause for complaint against another; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so should you forgive.
Beyond all these things put on and wrap yourselves in [unselfish] love, which is the perfect bond of unity [for everything is bound together in agreement when each one seeks the best for others].
Let the peace of Christ [the inner calm of one who walks daily with Him] be the controlling factor in your hearts [deciding and settling questions that arise]. To this peace indeed you were called as members in one body [of believers]. And be thankful [to God always].
Let the [spoken] word of Christ have its home within you [dwelling in your heart and mind—permeating every aspect of your being] as you teach [spiritual things] and admonish and train one another with all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
-Ashley #followerofJesusChrist
